Hives and Other Drugs

I spent my evenings drinking too much. There was nothing else to do. My best friend lied too often and loneliness held my hand too tight as I lay on my bed moping at the roof of my empty room. I had to indulge myself. Make the evenings worthwhile. Get away from it all. The lies my friend told… the babbling of my parents… the pressure to be what I was not… the cheap men that wanted to a piece of me… ambition… I was too young for it all. I had to get away. One of these evenings cannot be erased from my memory. In ten years, twenty or sixty… It started out beautiful… I had had four little cups of Don Simon; they went down too quickly. Seven hard gulps. I liked to feel woozy quickly, laugh early and walk home late, right before the hard-hearted gateman locked the gate. As I walked towards the punch guy to get a fifth cup, a certain character walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder… I stared hard at the guy. He looked very familiar… “Yes?” “Hi.” He

He did not take my top off or make attempts to kiss me all over. He pecked me a few times on the lips and started to take his pants off. Then he helped me take off mine. We were both aware that there was no wetness, yet he wanted in. Hence, it took a while before he could push all of himself in. He had tried and tried, but his partner-in-crime wasn’t hard enough. He patted me on the back and asked me to suck his dick. I did, the way I knew how – slowly and continuously going up and down. I guess I wasn’t doing what he expected of me because he clutched my hair extensions to control the pace. He kept pushing my head down, making me take in the whole length of his veined accomplice. I shut my eyes hard. I could withstand this pain. I could. I fought back throwing up while the lines that separated my upper eyelids from the bottom were laced with tears. Saliva had found its way to my jaw and was slowly making its way to my neck. We were at this for quite a while be