I’m in a lot of pain. The man I married keeps finding ways to tell me that I stress him out. That I ruin his days. That I’m a pain in his head. According to him, I give him headaches. I make him feel unhappy, defensive, and inadequate. Today he asked me, “Who is encouraging me?” This man I spend hours talking to—about his work, his worries, his dreams. I try to lift him without sounding prescriptive or patronizing. Yet, I’m somehow still unloving and discouraging. There’s a tightness in my chest. My head hurts. I want to cry, but even that doesn’t bring relief. Sometimes, I try to think of sex, to distract myself. But with who? Who wants to sleep with a married, lonely, unattractive woman? I can’t remember the last time a good-looking man even tried to talk to me. Online or offline. I’ve lost my game. But I think I can get it back. Maybe. I got off the phone today, crying. Heartbroken. Shattered. I immediately searched for something to numb the ache. Something— anything ...