Hives and Other Drugs

  I was looking for a break when I met you. I had just gotten my lashes done and I needed a really good meal—one I didn’t cook. I thought to treat myself to some delectable pasta and a good cocktail. You welcomed me into your restaurant and asked me to take a seat while you got me the menu. When you returned, you smiled so intensely as you talked me through what was available. I initially thought it was just your thing—until it seemed like you smacked your lips. Wait. Did you just smack your lips at me? Or is it the brownie I had earlier? Nah… can’t be. I ordered my food and texted my girlfriend while I waited. I was giggling when you returned with my plate. That smile again. I noticed you were really cute now. And your voice… ahn ahn! Who is this hot young man? Stop it, girl. This is a child, please. He’s not into you. Stop dreaming. I said thank you and returned your smile, wanting to believe it wasn’t all in my head. As I ate, I let my mind wander. Thoughts of havin...

  I’m in a lot of pain. The man I married keeps finding ways to tell me that I stress him out. That I ruin his days. That I’m a pain in his head. According to him, I give him headaches. I make him feel unhappy, defensive, and inadequate. Today he asked me, “Who is encouraging me?” This man I spend hours talking to—about his work, his worries, his dreams. I try to lift him without sounding prescriptive or patronizing. Yet, I’m somehow still unloving and discouraging. There’s a tightness in my chest. My head hurts. I want to cry, but even that doesn’t bring relief. Sometimes, I try to think of sex, to distract myself. But with who? Who wants to sleep with a married, lonely, unattractive woman? I can’t remember the last time a good-looking man even tried to talk to me. Online or offline. I’ve lost my game. But I think I can get it back. Maybe. I got off the phone today, crying. Heartbroken. Shattered. I immediately searched for something to numb the ache. Something— anything ...

Have you ever been fucked so good that it seemed like someone pressed the pause button and all you can think of is that one magnificent fuck? Have you ever been fucked so good that you really wanted to buzz every one of your friends to explain and describe how your spirit left your body for seconds while your brains were being banged the fuck out? Have you ever been fucked so good that you get depressed the morning after wondering why you had been wasting your entire life and time having substandard sex? Have you ever been fucked so good that you had so many multiple orgasms, he started to panic and ask if you were having a stroke? Have you ever been fucked so good that you wanted to see your Biology teacher again just to smack his face and tell him how much of a bad job he did explaining sexual intercourse to your class? Have you ever been fucked so good that you considered giving testimony in church about how you discovered you could have breast, clitoral and vaginal orga...

It's 8 pm. I have been thinking about you. All day.  Darkness is my partner. The sounds of generators working hard in various locations keep my company. I close my eyes to rest but pictures of you flash through my mind.  I can feel myself in your arms. Your scent lingers on my nose. Your lips brushing mine as you tease me instead of kissing me. Your hands make their way all over my bosom but meet with the hardness of my bra.  You're not deterred. You rip my buttons and make your way hungrily through my brassiere. I hear the clinking of the buttons as they litter the floor Naughty boy. You couldn't care less. I lie there moaning, tossing and turning like there was a snake in my loins. It pleases you. You whisper in my ear, asking if I love you. Fuck yes, you fool. You want to please me the more. You tell me you want me to scream till the neighbours hear. You want them to know you're the man. You put your hands in my loins and rub. Rub...

Today isn't really a good day. I can't seem to concentrate on work and my mind wanders when I'm listening to someone or looking at something. I can't stop thinking about Friday night. I can't stop thinking about how you fucked your name out of my lungs, forcing me to scream your name like my life depended on it.  Gawd! It was amazing! Been a while I had dick that good. Been a while I had someone turn up the volume to drown my voice and keep the neighbors from casting and binding delinquent youths. Been a while I got my fundament spanked like I was in a sadomasochist movie. Bam! Bam! Bam!  "Yes Daddy! Fuck me like you miss me! Yes! Oh yes! Uh-uh! Right there! Ooh Baby! FUCK ME !" Dick so good my eyes were rolled back half the time while I was positioned like a big-sized boiled prawn with coochie juice dripping on the couch. "Babe, are you ok?" My colleague taps me on the shoulder.  "Hmm?" She...

Doping with bestie was nothing new to me. I knew she loved to smoke at night while we took a stroll around campus. But one day was different. It was different because she wanted to smoke in the afternoon. She wanted us to seat and gist. We didn't go through our Puff-Puff-Pass routine. She puffed a few times and let me smoke the whole thing. She even let me keep the butt. As I sat staring into space and laughing hysterically because I was incredibly buzzed and everything seemed funny, Bestie asked an unexpected question, "Who is Looney?"  Now, I knew what she was up to. Maybe it was the weed, but my mind quickly raced through the events of the day; she had planned to get me high so I'll let the cat out of the bag. I knew this day would come.  I knew I couldn't tell her the truth. Weed or no weed, I was going to lie to her. How could I tell her such a thing? "Told you before now. He's my friend in Jand. We had a long distance relationship...