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The Truth About Looney

Doping with bestie was nothing new to me. I knew she loved to smoke at night while we took a stroll around campus. But one day was different. It was different because she wanted to smoke in the afternoon. She wanted us to seat and gist. We didn't go through our Puff-Puff-Pass routine. She puffed a few times and let me smoke the whole thing. She even let me keep the butt. As I sat staring into space and laughing hysterically because I was incredibly buzzed and everything seemed funny, Bestie asked an unexpected question, "Who is Looney?"  Now, I knew what she was up to. Maybe it was the weed, but my mind quickly raced through the events of the day; she had planned to get me high so I'll let the cat out of the bag. I knew this day would come.  I knew I couldn't tell her the truth. Weed or no weed, I was going to lie to her. How could I tell her such a thing? "Told you before now. He's my friend in Jand. We had a long distance relationship...

12 years

If I remember clearly, I was about 13, 14 when you first called me. I was in JSS 3 and you were in your second year in university. You had asked my girlfriend and classmate to give you one of her friends and because she told you I had the biggest boobs, I was your choice. Idiot. LOL. Our 10-year age difference made you so appealing to me. You were mature and seemed to have a firm grip of everything in your life. When you didn’t, you would simply roll a blunt and say “man cannot kill himself”. LOL. You were so cool and hot, even though I had no picture of you. Luckily for me I had a Nokia phone back then so communication was easy. Text messages and calls were all we had back then and the fad between opposites sexes was flirting and sexting. You’re probably the reason I enjoy writing and reading literotica today. I remember how after we passed the introduction stage , you asked that we play a game called imagine where we would conjure “sexy” scenes...

#BirthdayRant: When it’s your birthday and you can’t sleep…

Sorry to disappoint you... this is not another sensual story. It's the morning of my birthday and things aren't quite what they were (about) 2 years ago. 1.12 am and the only messages I've gotten are from GT Bank and First Bank. Well, Twitter was nice enough to put up balloons. Lol. So much for being a birthday girl. I guess all my friends are tired 'cause I didn't feel this deserted some years ago. Too early to say yeah?  Well... The usual birthday programme went this way: - The lover always called first; called to sing me a song, talk me through the early hours, pray for or with me... Basically, just be there. But as we don't have Bae in 2016, Jesus has taken the wheel.  Oluwa gba ko so . (Lord take control). - The main calls troop in between 6 am and 3 pm. Phone is everly ringing like a business centre in 2002. From uncles to unwanted suitors. Hopefully, they'll call us this year and 0956 will not block the call because mobile...

Very Delicious, Very Sumptuous

It was a Tuesday evening and I didn't want to go to the house. I couldn't exactly make up my mind why I was feeling this way - whether it was because it didn't feel like home or there had been no light for over three weeks and the heat was epic. Either ways, I needed a good excuse to stay longer hours at work that day.  I had even contemplated watching a movie by myself but I'm one of those that believe cinemas are a waste of money if you're more than 10 in the room. Why should I pay N1500 to watch a movie and be interrupted by people who don't know the difference between a cinema room and UNILAG's main auditorium?  Sorry to digress.  I finally decided to go to the house and get a shawarma on my way. That would take a little more time. I was going to walk instead of taking a cab too. Hopefully, everyone would have slept by the time I got to the house. I got to the Shawarma joint and settled in a plastic chair outside. As I was about to go through ...